Posts Tagged ‘Broken heart’

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Broken hearts are pretty much everywhere, no matter where you go, or where you look, there’s someone who’s in the throes of that deep pain that can only be caused by the loss of someone, or something, deeply loved.

When you’re in the middle of the brokenness and the extreme pain, trying to scrape back together the shards of your life, you really don’t see anyone or anything else but the pain. It’s all-consuming and you just can’t believe that you aren’t flying apart at the seams, that you just keep waking up in the morning. It’s like being flayed on the inside.

If you’ve been through this experience, then you know that you can only stand so much of other people before you just have to get away from everyone and everything because the effort of holding yourself together pretending to be normal becomes too much.

Just the other day, I was at a dinner party where one of the other guests was a beautiful woman who’s in the middle of a divorce. After a couple of hours, she abruptly got up, said her good byes and headed for home. Although she was very polite, you just knew she had reached that point of pain management where she just had to go because the chafing of being around other people, no matter how much they care, was just too much to bear.

It’s an odd thing because it’s those other people who love and care deeply for you that go through their own pain at seeing you, who they care deeply for, suffer so much.

This was made very clear to me when I was talking with some older women about the holidays just the other day. They weren’t sure what their adult children were doing for the holidays, and during the course of the conversation, they found that a few of those children were going through the same type of life situations. Divorces. Break-ups. Broken hearts.

One of the women made the comment that having to stand by while your child suffers through a broken heart, or broken hearts, was something your parents never tell you about when you have this wonderful blessing of a child in your arms. It’s an up and down emotional roller coaster ride during this time,  one minute they want to talk about it, the next minute they don’t want to talk at all, the next minute they are snappy, the next minute they seem settled, and on and on it goes, until the pain lessens, calms down and finally their heart begins to heal.

I laughingly said I that I went through that last year when my son was in the sixth grade, and, I didn’t want to go through it again. There was a girl in his class who threw the boys into a tempest. I had never quite seen anything like it, through the communications that I saw it was evident that she could handle the boys better than most women can handle grown men. At one point, she set her eyes on my son and that was it for a while. The ensuing fall out when she inevitably moved on to the next boy wasn’t something that was enjoyable for either of us.

Now for my son she’s a distant memory, but I still remember his broken heart and how it reminded me of my own pain from a break up that my heart was just healing from. Because even though we’d like to think a broken heart at 30 is somehow worse than a broken heart at 12, I don’t think there’s that much difference, pain is still pain, shattered hearts are still shattered hearts, and they need to heal.

It’s almost harder standing on the sidelines, unable to do anything to relieve their pain as your own heart bleeds unstoppable rivers for them, because you’ve been where they are and you know what it’s like.

El Hay, the Living God knows too. How many times does He sit quietly next to us, helping to make our pain somewhat less as our own hearts hemorrhage, or we bleed for our loved ones? As many times as we need to Him to, and the amazing thing is He feels the pain, knows it well and His heart bleeds with us.

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18

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